i've woken up early, about 3am this morning elhamdulillah, i'm so happy about this.
one thing i'd like to discuss is talking to artificial intelligence. like scrolling social media, i don't think it's the best thing for me.
it trains your mind to seek reassurance, and if i've learned anything about the creative process,
it's that reassurance is futile.
we want so badly to hear that our idea is perfect, that it's gauranteed to work, that it's approved, that it will get the outcome we desire,
but one of the biggest bugaboos about creative work is the nature that it may not work.
even as i write this i get goosebumps thinking about my favorite films and music from my younger years,
i reminisce on the days of beau flaneur fondly, and one thing about that period in time was that i was getting used to creating without reassurance. i had the habit of coming up with ideas that excited me, and spending my time working on them in silence with such divine happiness.
i was in my own world. watching wes anderson, tarantino, scorcese, listening to beautiful interesting music all the time, coming up with new stories and clothes and artworks.
and i'd deeply like to return that state.
what was not in the mix during that time, were
- artificial intelligence
- constant exposure to social media.
i trust that taking a step back into more enriching creative worlds, such as the world of books, film, music, podcasts, and lectures will heal my mind,
but most importantly,
i believe that i need to get back to the mastery of the ego, the rick rubin presence, the seth godin mentality, the artist's courage, to trust my own intuition and decide whether or not to work on a project if it excites me, not if claude or chatgpt agrees it's the highest leverage thing to do, and to make the decisions in my own mind. with my own intuition.
so this morning, i wake up at 3am, i have my tea and i look at my pinterest boards. it feels incredible. i missed this. i wake up and it feels as though i get to spend quality time with the divine and with my inner truth. this is why i wake up so early. people look at you weird if you say you woke up at 3am, asking me why i like it, but people don't really question staying up till 3am. that's a given.
but the point of doing that is to maximise the night. at night there is often pleasure, fun, a loss of the mind. or sometimes the opposite, incredible presence, a lucidity, etc.
i just want to maximise the feeling of the morning. the feeling of rebirth, renewal, connection, focus, prayer. and it feels like on edge. a leg up. an advantage, from something. from the world. nobody else is awake. it's me and my being and my prerogative.
so that's why i prefer to wake up so early.
i think i lost the habit for a little while in my first semester of school, but thinking about the 80/20 principle, and thinking about how much more fulfilled and happy and focused and self-loving i feel writing this right now listening to warm muted jazz saxophone drinking green tea and clarifying organizing exploring and ordering my mind through writing, and the fact that i get to have 3 more hours of making something that excites me before anyone wakes up,
i trust that the 80 percent of my life will be started incredibly early mornings.
i love this too much to give it up, like coffee, like jazz, like training, like writing, like making art. i love the morning. and by extension, i love the day, and by extension, i love the life.